my life as a grad mum
Wow, last post April. I am really behind. busy I guess, or perhaps more adjusted. Actually I think it is an addiction to facebook that has stopped me blogging. only have so much computer time.
Anyway it is a few min after midnight and I have just waved my daughter and her friends off to an all night grad party. She says she won't drink, and I hope that it is true. I expect her to drink a little but I have supervised a total of 4 all night wet grad parties in my life and I know what they are like.
This is my last year as a person who helps put on grad. I have just returned from the rink. I am usually one of the last dogs, because I am always late in getting there (always have to work). Everything was almost done, but I know this is when most people bugger off, when the easy stuff is over and then there are only a few people left to do the hard stuff. I usually get home about now from helping with grad. Next year I will be a grad parent, and as such, will be driving my kid and her friends to the party and staying up all night with them, supervising the unruly and the unwise. I am not sure which thing is harder, but after next year, it will be over. I estimate that I have probably helped with 10 graduations plus stayed up all night with my best friend while she supervised her 3 kids grad parties. To be fair, she stayed up till 3 a.m. on my son's grad with me and then took my daughter home. I guess she lucked out, because for my oldest daughter's grad, I had just had surgery a few days before and couldn't stay up all night supervising. Plus it was the only dry grad party I have ever seen in a rural community. I wish I could have been there, way more fun (and probably warmer) than standing around outside or in a quonset all night. It really does get coldest just before dawn. Round about four a.m. at this time of year.
Okay, to explain, in the villages and towns that I have lived in, the practise is this, each grade from gr. 9 and up, has a responsibility towards grad. All the parents and kids are meant to be helping. I noticed this year we had quite a few with excuses to not help, plus there were a lot who had siblings graduating and therefore were guests themselves. Around here, the gr. 9's put on some food afterwards so people can socialize. They don't seem to go in for dancing around here. When I was growing up, and in other places, there is a dance after the exercises. Then the grad party. It used to be that the gr. 11 parents cooked, but I think too many people work, so the last few years the dinner has been catered. Some years there are small classes and you have to get lower grades to help. We had a big class of gr. 11's this year but had to go all the way to gr. 9's for helpers. When I was in gr. 10, I was told we had to do the decorating, then in gr. 11, the current gr. 10's refused (how dare they?!?!!) and then we did it again. We actually wound up doing it for our own grad because the younger kids did a cursory job, very ugly. In those days, we used to leave the decorations like streamers and so on up, because there were often weddings shortly afterwards in the summer. Here the rink is used for the exercises, due to the large sized crowd and it is a job to decorate and undecorate. I find here they get quite elaborate, which is not the case everywhere.
I had to laugh, I was recently at a city grad, held in the city arts complex. There were about fifty teachers at least on their grad committee and I wondered what all they had to do, because here there are usually two or three on the committee and they do an awful lot. Getting teenagers organized is like herding cats in my experience. Mind you they do that for a living, so maybe it is easier for them.....I have to admire what they do. The parents also do an amazing job. I didn't do a lot this year, I was often working. Today, for instance, I worked all day (and of course it had to be a very busy day, unlike Tuesday, where I was in my office on my computer most of the day, rushing to meet deadlines, that was stressful on the brain, I was burnt out when I left but had physical energy left. ) Today was busy on the desk and we were short staffed, so I had to help out and didn't really have more than an hour to do my own work, so felt very tired and footsore when I left work. Not to mention a bit p.o'd about not having finished my own work. Holiday next week, so I will be behind. I work the weekend, but on the desk, so won't have a chance to get anything extra done.
So anyhow, left my breaks till days end, which I never do, and of course today it was problematic as we were short staffed, but I left anyway. Maybe people were irritated with that, I don't know. I never leave early. I am sometimes late, but then work through breaks or leave late. I managed to arrive at the banquet hall in time to do two hours worth of dishes though. Thank god for my mephistos. My feet were sore when i left work but I managed to stand for most of that time doing dishes and was fine tonight. I did change into crocs later because it looked like rain and these are rubber. First time I have worn my mary jane crocs. They look okay, feel all right. I usually only wear this type of shoe in the house, in lieu of slippers. The dr. says I have to wear shoes in the house, which is against everything I was brought up to do, but I ignored that advice for a year and then my plantar fasciitis came back. so I have learned to wear crocs in the house. Drives B nuts. He does have a point about the landfill. I think their popularity is less than it was, but you still see them on tons of people. What will happen to the landfill? I suppose they will have to figure out a use for them.
okay see how easy it is to short circuit me? I tell people I am easily distractible, and I am not lying. Last night I helped set up the banquet hall after I was done work at 8 p.m. so I put in a couple hours there, I have previously put in about 8 hours of meetings, then a couple hours of dishes tonight and about an hour of undecorating, so I definately did less than many people. I think in the long run, I have gotten away with a lot, really. The year I was the gr. 11 parent for Caitlin, I had the flu and couldn't help at grad on the day. Although I was a stand in gr. 11 parent for a friend of mine, who moved and her kids lived with us for about 6 weeks while they finished the school year. I think I did a lot that year, decorating, cooking, clean up etc. I remember helping the year Cait was in gr. 9, gr. 10, same for D and also gr. 11, then gr. 9 and 10 for Bron. It is funny, I volunteered for the dining room committee this time because I remember being on it before, when D was in gr. 11 (3 yrs ago) but when I went through the notes (everyone here always keeps notes for committees, it really helps you know what to do) I found I had been on it at least twice before, if not three times. I guess I am glad we never had four kids, like our original intention.
Perhaps someday I will feel bittersweet about it, but I doubt it. I think relief is the word I am looking for. Like the 14 years in a row that I tied skates, don't miss it. This is what I get for having kids spread out, a bunch of those people were gr. 10 and 12 parents at the same time...so get to skip a few things. I have to say though, after seeing that dry and incredibly boring city grad, I am immensely grateful to live here. Even with all the volunteer work, it is satisfying to see all those lovely children-young adults, whatever they are now, sitting up there, all dressed to the nines, being celebrated and knowing that you helped make their day. Several of Bron's good friends were up there today. When I think what they were like 5 years ago, it doesn't seem possible that they were grown up already. I see a lot of changes in Bron already. so mature. I know it is natures way of getting them ready to fly the nest. Sometimes you just can't believe it. I have been telling myself lately that I will be ready when the time comes, that she is often not home and it is just the two of us on our own quite a lot of the time now. But when she is really gone, oh my, doesn't bear thinking about. Having had children around since 1982, and then a lonely quiet house. oh dear. No wonder middle age is so distressing. People tell you when you have a child, how different your life will be after that, but you don't really get it, till it happens. Then when they are little, it seems like it will forever before they even start school. Suddenly 13 years go by and they are done, and grown into adults to boot. wow.
As they say, reality--what a concept.
Things to be thankful for: my darling daughters and wonderful son, and their significant others.
A man, who, although he no longer volunteers for anything and sometimes drives me nuts, has a good eye for art and enjoys growing plants. He loves those kids as much as I do, but would likely never say it out loud. Hmm, funny how we repeat history. I know my dad loves me but he would never say it either.
I am thankful for loving parents, still alive (and of course, for Mum, who would have loved all this had she been alive. I miss her every day. I cannot believe she was my age when she died, makes it all the more tragic) who are helpful and yet not interfering. I only hope I can be the same kind of parent to my kids.
I am thankful for good yogurt, fresh cherries and access to lovely foods, even though I sometimes eat way too much unhealthy junk. Case in point, I bought a coke this evening, which I am even now consuming. I say I don't need caffeine, but I really think I needed this after work. Must be the sugar.....For the first time in my life, I sometimes buy coffee at work when I am really really tired and it seems to help. I have no desire to become a coffee drinker at my age.
I am thankful for computers and the easily accessible power to run them. They have become a very important part of my life, which is probably sad, but there you go. Couldn't do this without them.
Well 50 min has gone by and I know I should go to bed. I know I will be about a useful as a cooked cauliflower tommorrow. Luckily I don't have to work till afternoon as I know I will be useless tommorrow. I think I am still wired. I thought blogging would help, but it has just kept me awake. Must be time to go watch some mind numbing tv and get tired.
I am grateful that I have a child who has friends who want her to come play with them. Friends are really important in life and I am very thankful for mine. The guest speaker tonight made a point " forget what you do for your friends and not what they do for you" I think that is a good quote. Don't remember what it is from, but I like it. As one with no siblings to share memories and difficulties with, I value my friends all the more. They have been there for me through thick and thin and I hope will continue to do so for many more years. Need to see more of them.
okay not resolution time, too late to get into that now.
Time to go, 1 a.m. Goodnight. or goodmorning, whichever.
Anyway it is a few min after midnight and I have just waved my daughter and her friends off to an all night grad party. She says she won't drink, and I hope that it is true. I expect her to drink a little but I have supervised a total of 4 all night wet grad parties in my life and I know what they are like.
This is my last year as a person who helps put on grad. I have just returned from the rink. I am usually one of the last dogs, because I am always late in getting there (always have to work). Everything was almost done, but I know this is when most people bugger off, when the easy stuff is over and then there are only a few people left to do the hard stuff. I usually get home about now from helping with grad. Next year I will be a grad parent, and as such, will be driving my kid and her friends to the party and staying up all night with them, supervising the unruly and the unwise. I am not sure which thing is harder, but after next year, it will be over. I estimate that I have probably helped with 10 graduations plus stayed up all night with my best friend while she supervised her 3 kids grad parties. To be fair, she stayed up till 3 a.m. on my son's grad with me and then took my daughter home. I guess she lucked out, because for my oldest daughter's grad, I had just had surgery a few days before and couldn't stay up all night supervising. Plus it was the only dry grad party I have ever seen in a rural community. I wish I could have been there, way more fun (and probably warmer) than standing around outside or in a quonset all night. It really does get coldest just before dawn. Round about four a.m. at this time of year.
Okay, to explain, in the villages and towns that I have lived in, the practise is this, each grade from gr. 9 and up, has a responsibility towards grad. All the parents and kids are meant to be helping. I noticed this year we had quite a few with excuses to not help, plus there were a lot who had siblings graduating and therefore were guests themselves. Around here, the gr. 9's put on some food afterwards so people can socialize. They don't seem to go in for dancing around here. When I was growing up, and in other places, there is a dance after the exercises. Then the grad party. It used to be that the gr. 11 parents cooked, but I think too many people work, so the last few years the dinner has been catered. Some years there are small classes and you have to get lower grades to help. We had a big class of gr. 11's this year but had to go all the way to gr. 9's for helpers. When I was in gr. 10, I was told we had to do the decorating, then in gr. 11, the current gr. 10's refused (how dare they?!?!!) and then we did it again. We actually wound up doing it for our own grad because the younger kids did a cursory job, very ugly. In those days, we used to leave the decorations like streamers and so on up, because there were often weddings shortly afterwards in the summer. Here the rink is used for the exercises, due to the large sized crowd and it is a job to decorate and undecorate. I find here they get quite elaborate, which is not the case everywhere.
I had to laugh, I was recently at a city grad, held in the city arts complex. There were about fifty teachers at least on their grad committee and I wondered what all they had to do, because here there are usually two or three on the committee and they do an awful lot. Getting teenagers organized is like herding cats in my experience. Mind you they do that for a living, so maybe it is easier for them.....I have to admire what they do. The parents also do an amazing job. I didn't do a lot this year, I was often working. Today, for instance, I worked all day (and of course it had to be a very busy day, unlike Tuesday, where I was in my office on my computer most of the day, rushing to meet deadlines, that was stressful on the brain, I was burnt out when I left but had physical energy left. ) Today was busy on the desk and we were short staffed, so I had to help out and didn't really have more than an hour to do my own work, so felt very tired and footsore when I left work. Not to mention a bit p.o'd about not having finished my own work. Holiday next week, so I will be behind. I work the weekend, but on the desk, so won't have a chance to get anything extra done.
So anyhow, left my breaks till days end, which I never do, and of course today it was problematic as we were short staffed, but I left anyway. Maybe people were irritated with that, I don't know. I never leave early. I am sometimes late, but then work through breaks or leave late. I managed to arrive at the banquet hall in time to do two hours worth of dishes though. Thank god for my mephistos. My feet were sore when i left work but I managed to stand for most of that time doing dishes and was fine tonight. I did change into crocs later because it looked like rain and these are rubber. First time I have worn my mary jane crocs. They look okay, feel all right. I usually only wear this type of shoe in the house, in lieu of slippers. The dr. says I have to wear shoes in the house, which is against everything I was brought up to do, but I ignored that advice for a year and then my plantar fasciitis came back. so I have learned to wear crocs in the house. Drives B nuts. He does have a point about the landfill. I think their popularity is less than it was, but you still see them on tons of people. What will happen to the landfill? I suppose they will have to figure out a use for them.
okay see how easy it is to short circuit me? I tell people I am easily distractible, and I am not lying. Last night I helped set up the banquet hall after I was done work at 8 p.m. so I put in a couple hours there, I have previously put in about 8 hours of meetings, then a couple hours of dishes tonight and about an hour of undecorating, so I definately did less than many people. I think in the long run, I have gotten away with a lot, really. The year I was the gr. 11 parent for Caitlin, I had the flu and couldn't help at grad on the day. Although I was a stand in gr. 11 parent for a friend of mine, who moved and her kids lived with us for about 6 weeks while they finished the school year. I think I did a lot that year, decorating, cooking, clean up etc. I remember helping the year Cait was in gr. 9, gr. 10, same for D and also gr. 11, then gr. 9 and 10 for Bron. It is funny, I volunteered for the dining room committee this time because I remember being on it before, when D was in gr. 11 (3 yrs ago) but when I went through the notes (everyone here always keeps notes for committees, it really helps you know what to do) I found I had been on it at least twice before, if not three times. I guess I am glad we never had four kids, like our original intention.
Perhaps someday I will feel bittersweet about it, but I doubt it. I think relief is the word I am looking for. Like the 14 years in a row that I tied skates, don't miss it. This is what I get for having kids spread out, a bunch of those people were gr. 10 and 12 parents at the same time...so get to skip a few things. I have to say though, after seeing that dry and incredibly boring city grad, I am immensely grateful to live here. Even with all the volunteer work, it is satisfying to see all those lovely children-young adults, whatever they are now, sitting up there, all dressed to the nines, being celebrated and knowing that you helped make their day. Several of Bron's good friends were up there today. When I think what they were like 5 years ago, it doesn't seem possible that they were grown up already. I see a lot of changes in Bron already. so mature. I know it is natures way of getting them ready to fly the nest. Sometimes you just can't believe it. I have been telling myself lately that I will be ready when the time comes, that she is often not home and it is just the two of us on our own quite a lot of the time now. But when she is really gone, oh my, doesn't bear thinking about. Having had children around since 1982, and then a lonely quiet house. oh dear. No wonder middle age is so distressing. People tell you when you have a child, how different your life will be after that, but you don't really get it, till it happens. Then when they are little, it seems like it will forever before they even start school. Suddenly 13 years go by and they are done, and grown into adults to boot. wow.
As they say, reality--what a concept.
Things to be thankful for: my darling daughters and wonderful son, and their significant others.
A man, who, although he no longer volunteers for anything and sometimes drives me nuts, has a good eye for art and enjoys growing plants. He loves those kids as much as I do, but would likely never say it out loud. Hmm, funny how we repeat history. I know my dad loves me but he would never say it either.
I am thankful for loving parents, still alive (and of course, for Mum, who would have loved all this had she been alive. I miss her every day. I cannot believe she was my age when she died, makes it all the more tragic) who are helpful and yet not interfering. I only hope I can be the same kind of parent to my kids.
I am thankful for good yogurt, fresh cherries and access to lovely foods, even though I sometimes eat way too much unhealthy junk. Case in point, I bought a coke this evening, which I am even now consuming. I say I don't need caffeine, but I really think I needed this after work. Must be the sugar.....For the first time in my life, I sometimes buy coffee at work when I am really really tired and it seems to help. I have no desire to become a coffee drinker at my age.
I am thankful for computers and the easily accessible power to run them. They have become a very important part of my life, which is probably sad, but there you go. Couldn't do this without them.
Well 50 min has gone by and I know I should go to bed. I know I will be about a useful as a cooked cauliflower tommorrow. Luckily I don't have to work till afternoon as I know I will be useless tommorrow. I think I am still wired. I thought blogging would help, but it has just kept me awake. Must be time to go watch some mind numbing tv and get tired.
I am grateful that I have a child who has friends who want her to come play with them. Friends are really important in life and I am very thankful for mine. The guest speaker tonight made a point " forget what you do for your friends and not what they do for you" I think that is a good quote. Don't remember what it is from, but I like it. As one with no siblings to share memories and difficulties with, I value my friends all the more. They have been there for me through thick and thin and I hope will continue to do so for many more years. Need to see more of them.
okay not resolution time, too late to get into that now.
Time to go, 1 a.m. Goodnight. or goodmorning, whichever.
posted by Diana @ 12:07 AM
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