Sunshine and warm fuzzies
The sun is shining, the birds are singing, James Taylor is on and I am feelin'fine. Just got back from my old ladies exercises, which always makes me feel good. I feel kind of weird about the fact that my social life consists of sweating with people who are anywhere from 25-40 years older than me...but hey that works for me. It's free and close to home, what more do you want? I do plan to go back to aquacises, as soon as I can find a swim suit that doesn't fall apart in 3 wearings. It is a bit easier to go when it is not forty below also. Programming is done this week, so I have three weeks where I can go without worrying about coming back to work to offend people by smelling strongly of chlorine. I will still smell, but not too many people to worry about if I am just in my office....
I have probably gained more weight this winter than ever before. I can still get my pants on, but I desperately want them to be looser. I am not graduating up any farther! I don't want to be my dad, with diabetes. My mother in law, my brother in law also. I come from an eating family and I married into an eating family. I do still love to eat. Of course now, I just got home and scarfed three prunes. wow old lady stuff, never mind that I have loved them since I was a kid. My mother's nickname for me, in fact, was Prune, for many years. Lovingly said. Man, I miss my mother sometimes. I am now the age I was when she died. Daily life is easier, of course, than it was over 20 years ago. I have Bruce to thank for getting me through it, and being pregnant with David made me focus on something besides loss. It was having him and Cait that let me survive my loss. But I still feel her loss. Vi has been wonderful to me all my married life. I finally gave her a card that says what a great mother in law she is. I figured, I tell everyone but her. She hates mushy cards, but Bruce gave her a funny one, so she was happy with that. At least now she knows how I feel. She lost her mother at 16 and had good inlaws who did their best for her, and she and Dave repeated that with me. How lucky can a girl be? I maybe would not have appreciated them as much if I had had parents all that time. I am close to Dad now, but I wasn't at the time. I always thought it was a tragedy that I had to lose my mum to gain my dad. Life is weird that way.
A few years ago, when I considered splitting up, I thought me and the kids would be fine on our own. Now that the kids are grown up, I see B getting a bit closer. AT least sometimes. We rub along fine most of the time. I think he ignores me, mostly. I continue to think that he is a fun date and we get along okay. I guess we are at the Companionship stage of our marriage, about 20 years early. He has always done his duty and looked after me, and I have always stood by him. It is a kind of love. I do still love him, always, in spite of all that has happened. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we had been allowed to just go on in our same way of life, if his breakdown had not happened. Sometimes I get very sad, looking back at the past. WE did have a golden time for a long time. And I regret that it is gone. But I do have a good life, mostly. The only thing is wishing I spent more time with my friends and my family. You have to work more to get the money to do this, then you have less time. When I have the time, I have no money. typical.
But mostly, yeah, I am happy camper. I have books, music, performing arts to enrich my life. I have two great jobs, three great kids, people who love me, including my dad and in laws, who are in their 70's. I do work that I care about, that I think makes a difference in the world. Now if I was only skinnier! Seriously, that is a pretty standard thing, I really don't have many regrets, wish I had managed money better, but part of that is down to B. I don't regret our marriage, our move or much regarding the kids. Probably should have been harder on Bronwyn. But so far, so good. David seems happy, Caitlin seems happy. What more do I want?
I do wish the cat was younger, as I know her time is numbered. I will miss her a lot too. In spite of the litter...
Anwyay I now have figured out why people blog less, as facebook has entered my life. I am slightly addicted. We make jokes about having no life, but look how things have changed, we now have email to check--I figure I used to look forward to the snail mail, this has just taken it's place. But more than one email, plus facebook, plus whatever else you do on the computer! takes time but I would never give it up.
Buying my JT tickets on line was quite freaky. I had taken the a.m. off when tickets would go on sale next week. Then I found out that Am Ex cards have a "front of the line" feature. My only mistake was making a ticketmaster account ahead of time, with another card. So when I tried to buy the tickets, it wouldn't accept the info I was putting in. Must go by your email, so it insisted my email and password were wrong. So there was a bit of a flurry where I had to let tickets go and try again. Now that I have done it once before, I will find it easier next time. I still can't figure out if the seats are any good. The DVD I am looking at today, shows a bazillion people off to the side, and I figure that must be where we will be. I think the floor seats must be reserved for radio station winners and corporate people etc. as there didn't seem to be floor tickets. stupid arena. Anyway, my theory is that surely these seats are better than I would've got on Monday with the rest of the general public. I only heard an ad on the radio yesterday. I suppose with him they hardly need to advertise. If it wasn't for the website, etc. I wouldn't have known when I did. Even the venue just posted it recently. I had thought about phoning that box office, but when I called the number, I got ticketmaster. Plus, you know what happened last time. I am sure that box office lady in Clearwater was halfdeafened by my howl when she told me they were sold out....
I am profoundly grateful for a daughter who accompanied me just to be nice. Even though we couldn't even sit together. And for a husband who asked to come along this time. Shocker of shockers, I am pretty sure he is no fan, but I suppose after being married for over 27 years and having to hear the music , maybe he is used to it? Anyway he made me happy. I was prepared to go alone and I have certainly made him go alone to expensive stuff that I have no interest in. Maybe he came because I agreed to go to Cirque du Soleil with him. They are both expensive and a week apart. He is all excited that we are going to Cirque. I think it will be very interesting. I am starting to let myself get excited about JT, but it will be better when the tickets are in my hand. A print out just isn't the same....
Okay once again I have written a ton when i didn't intend to. My brain bleeds words all the time. Bron popped in for a second to get me to phone her work. The owner's mother passed away and she wanted me to see if they were still open and she was too afraid to call and see if she was still working today. I usually make my kids do difficult things, but I figured I could do this for her. I really liked that old lady, she was born in 1914, which I didn't realize before. I had just arranged for her to get talking books as her sight had gotten poor. I was looking forward to dropping them off for her. When I worked there, she used to come and peel potatoes and carrots every day. She must have been in her 80's then. wow. I hope I can remain active for a long time. Not be sick or blind.
Last night I bought new cereal and Bron was mocking it, and rightly so, for a person her age, because it is old lady cereal. Full of fibre. I remember exactly how I felt about "fibre" when I was her age. Mocked it too. HOWEVER, my cupboard is now full of adult cereal and whole wheat pasta. I have been trying to use up all the old stuff before buying new stuff, but we had to throw out a whole box of kid cereal when I tried it and it was stale. I think it may have been three or four years old...shocking, but I guess David is almost done his third year at uni, still shocking. I am looking forward to him working this summer and maybe having time to visit a bit. Dunno when Cait can come home, she is still checking out summer school jobs.
I did buy some regular macaroni the other day, to use in a recipe I wanted to try. I would have bought whole wheat if they had had it. The local store is starting to carry a few products in whole wheat but not much variety.
Anyway if I could only get B to make whole wheat bread products I would be completely happy.
Okay I had better go if I am going to check out facebook. gack, I was going to get some mail ready first. Better do that!
I am grateful to have a stereo that works, a sunny kitchen, in spite of the broken dishwasher and dirty dishes and a morning off to do whatever I felt like doing. Very welcome after a very scheduled day yesterday. And I have the weekend off, so I can houseclean. Maybe catch a visit with Dad. Life is good.
D
I have probably gained more weight this winter than ever before. I can still get my pants on, but I desperately want them to be looser. I am not graduating up any farther! I don't want to be my dad, with diabetes. My mother in law, my brother in law also. I come from an eating family and I married into an eating family. I do still love to eat. Of course now, I just got home and scarfed three prunes. wow old lady stuff, never mind that I have loved them since I was a kid. My mother's nickname for me, in fact, was Prune, for many years. Lovingly said. Man, I miss my mother sometimes. I am now the age I was when she died. Daily life is easier, of course, than it was over 20 years ago. I have Bruce to thank for getting me through it, and being pregnant with David made me focus on something besides loss. It was having him and Cait that let me survive my loss. But I still feel her loss. Vi has been wonderful to me all my married life. I finally gave her a card that says what a great mother in law she is. I figured, I tell everyone but her. She hates mushy cards, but Bruce gave her a funny one, so she was happy with that. At least now she knows how I feel. She lost her mother at 16 and had good inlaws who did their best for her, and she and Dave repeated that with me. How lucky can a girl be? I maybe would not have appreciated them as much if I had had parents all that time. I am close to Dad now, but I wasn't at the time. I always thought it was a tragedy that I had to lose my mum to gain my dad. Life is weird that way.
A few years ago, when I considered splitting up, I thought me and the kids would be fine on our own. Now that the kids are grown up, I see B getting a bit closer. AT least sometimes. We rub along fine most of the time. I think he ignores me, mostly. I continue to think that he is a fun date and we get along okay. I guess we are at the Companionship stage of our marriage, about 20 years early. He has always done his duty and looked after me, and I have always stood by him. It is a kind of love. I do still love him, always, in spite of all that has happened. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we had been allowed to just go on in our same way of life, if his breakdown had not happened. Sometimes I get very sad, looking back at the past. WE did have a golden time for a long time. And I regret that it is gone. But I do have a good life, mostly. The only thing is wishing I spent more time with my friends and my family. You have to work more to get the money to do this, then you have less time. When I have the time, I have no money. typical.
But mostly, yeah, I am happy camper. I have books, music, performing arts to enrich my life. I have two great jobs, three great kids, people who love me, including my dad and in laws, who are in their 70's. I do work that I care about, that I think makes a difference in the world. Now if I was only skinnier! Seriously, that is a pretty standard thing, I really don't have many regrets, wish I had managed money better, but part of that is down to B. I don't regret our marriage, our move or much regarding the kids. Probably should have been harder on Bronwyn. But so far, so good. David seems happy, Caitlin seems happy. What more do I want?
I do wish the cat was younger, as I know her time is numbered. I will miss her a lot too. In spite of the litter...
Anwyay I now have figured out why people blog less, as facebook has entered my life. I am slightly addicted. We make jokes about having no life, but look how things have changed, we now have email to check--I figure I used to look forward to the snail mail, this has just taken it's place. But more than one email, plus facebook, plus whatever else you do on the computer! takes time but I would never give it up.
Buying my JT tickets on line was quite freaky. I had taken the a.m. off when tickets would go on sale next week. Then I found out that Am Ex cards have a "front of the line" feature. My only mistake was making a ticketmaster account ahead of time, with another card. So when I tried to buy the tickets, it wouldn't accept the info I was putting in. Must go by your email, so it insisted my email and password were wrong. So there was a bit of a flurry where I had to let tickets go and try again. Now that I have done it once before, I will find it easier next time. I still can't figure out if the seats are any good. The DVD I am looking at today, shows a bazillion people off to the side, and I figure that must be where we will be. I think the floor seats must be reserved for radio station winners and corporate people etc. as there didn't seem to be floor tickets. stupid arena. Anyway, my theory is that surely these seats are better than I would've got on Monday with the rest of the general public. I only heard an ad on the radio yesterday. I suppose with him they hardly need to advertise. If it wasn't for the website, etc. I wouldn't have known when I did. Even the venue just posted it recently. I had thought about phoning that box office, but when I called the number, I got ticketmaster. Plus, you know what happened last time. I am sure that box office lady in Clearwater was halfdeafened by my howl when she told me they were sold out....
I am profoundly grateful for a daughter who accompanied me just to be nice. Even though we couldn't even sit together. And for a husband who asked to come along this time. Shocker of shockers, I am pretty sure he is no fan, but I suppose after being married for over 27 years and having to hear the music , maybe he is used to it? Anyway he made me happy. I was prepared to go alone and I have certainly made him go alone to expensive stuff that I have no interest in. Maybe he came because I agreed to go to Cirque du Soleil with him. They are both expensive and a week apart. He is all excited that we are going to Cirque. I think it will be very interesting. I am starting to let myself get excited about JT, but it will be better when the tickets are in my hand. A print out just isn't the same....
Okay once again I have written a ton when i didn't intend to. My brain bleeds words all the time. Bron popped in for a second to get me to phone her work. The owner's mother passed away and she wanted me to see if they were still open and she was too afraid to call and see if she was still working today. I usually make my kids do difficult things, but I figured I could do this for her. I really liked that old lady, she was born in 1914, which I didn't realize before. I had just arranged for her to get talking books as her sight had gotten poor. I was looking forward to dropping them off for her. When I worked there, she used to come and peel potatoes and carrots every day. She must have been in her 80's then. wow. I hope I can remain active for a long time. Not be sick or blind.
Last night I bought new cereal and Bron was mocking it, and rightly so, for a person her age, because it is old lady cereal. Full of fibre. I remember exactly how I felt about "fibre" when I was her age. Mocked it too. HOWEVER, my cupboard is now full of adult cereal and whole wheat pasta. I have been trying to use up all the old stuff before buying new stuff, but we had to throw out a whole box of kid cereal when I tried it and it was stale. I think it may have been three or four years old...shocking, but I guess David is almost done his third year at uni, still shocking. I am looking forward to him working this summer and maybe having time to visit a bit. Dunno when Cait can come home, she is still checking out summer school jobs.
I did buy some regular macaroni the other day, to use in a recipe I wanted to try. I would have bought whole wheat if they had had it. The local store is starting to carry a few products in whole wheat but not much variety.
Anyway if I could only get B to make whole wheat bread products I would be completely happy.
Okay I had better go if I am going to check out facebook. gack, I was going to get some mail ready first. Better do that!
I am grateful to have a stereo that works, a sunny kitchen, in spite of the broken dishwasher and dirty dishes and a morning off to do whatever I felt like doing. Very welcome after a very scheduled day yesterday. And I have the weekend off, so I can houseclean. Maybe catch a visit with Dad. Life is good.
D
posted by Diana @ 11:32 AM
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