i'm such a wimp
I am sitting here at my computer when I should be halfway to work by now. The sun is shining and I feel like such a loser. You see, what happened is this. This a.m. I decided that sleep and the desire to exercise for cheap was much more important that going in with B at 6:45, and killing time until lunchtime....I figure the gas costs is about equal to what I probably would have spent on food etc. so I figured today I would take myself in. B gets done two hours before me today, so I had originally thought he would come home, make supper and pack, so that when I got home we would be ready to leave for the farm. Never mind that last night we decided to wait till Sat to go.
Okay so that is the background. Now the story. B calls at 8:15 and says, if you go, leave an hour early. So I plan to do that. Figure I have time to get back from exercises, change and hop in car and go. So when I leave for exercises, I see that the loose snow is blowing all around and it is icy underfoot, so I am rather reluctant to go to work today. But keep in mind I blew it off last week due to blowing snow and bad visibility. Okay, so while at exercises, the instructor mentions that she is leaving at noon, no appointment or anything but she MUST get some shopping done for this rally this weekend. Okay, so then the nurse, who comes from Pense, through Regina and out here, comes in and she says it is not so bad. Mind you, an older lady tells me her son just came in and told her there is cop car on it's lid out there....B had already told me about a jacknifed semi. I assumed it was the same one we saw last night, but no, actually this is a different one.
Okay, so the sun comes out, and I figure, if the nurse, who says she went 70-100k all the way says the visibility is not so bad, most of the time, that I can do this. So I go home, change clothes, and set out. Yeah it is a solid sheet of ice when I leave town, but it was worst at this point last night too. I am gliding along quite smoothly and slowly, noticing that there are NO other vehicles on the highway. The radio is telling me that there is bad highways by S'toon, and on the number one, but no where do they say anything about the one I am on. In fact, I had checked the highway hotline just before i left, and it had just been updated minutes before and sounded like it was better than this a.m., so I felt quite righteous in my decision to go. (Not to mention did NOT want to call in two weeks in a row...!) The highway improved a bit and I am going along, when I realize that the approaching vehicle is driving on the shoulder, then I realize that the whole bloody highway is a solid thick glossy piece of ice! I slowed myself right down, got onto the shoulder and made the executive decision to turn around and go home! There was a highway truck waiting at the junction to turn the other way, so I turned also and made my way carefully along the shoulder. Then got passed by a half dozen vehicles and thought to myself, you are such a wimp!!!!!So I moved back onto the road when it got better and was thinking maybe I should not have turned around, but now of course it would be too late (as storytime starts at 1:15 and I start at 1, there is no leeway there for being late)
Anyway as I got closer to town again, back onto another solid sheet of ice, I met three cop cars leaving town, a few min. apart. So I think that should tell me that they are out there rescuing people, one of which is not me. I think I made the right decision. I would have been mega stressed by the time I got there. If I got there. It just didn't seem worth 5 hrs of wages....! But I felt really guilty, as this happened last week. Last week I was okay with it, as B called in, and I sure wasn't going to go if he didn't! If he thinks it is bad, it is really bad. I didn't take Bron to her appt on Wed, because he said it was terrible. I figured we could make another appt...
I called work right away, but of course, the boss had gone out for lunch, so I told someone else what a wimp I was. Luckily I had all the stuff ready so my boss can take over, as she did last week. Last week I actually felt kinda crappy, so took it as sick. Today will have to be a holiday day. Except I don't feel much like a holiday. The house is a mess but I don't feel inclined to do much about it. Maybe plan a nice supper....for a change. Bron told her sister that "fend for yourself day"(which has always been tuesday night) has turned into fend for yourself week, which turned into fend for yourself month. I was a bit insulted as I usually have something in the crock pot on wednesdays and am usually home to make supper on mondays.Thursdays can be bad, as I work all day. She works a couple days over suppertime also, so has to feed herself before she goes to work. I do admit that I seldom cook and that friday is always pizza or other frozen thing night. Last night we didn't get back till past 8 as I now work till 6 (although I think that might change in April) and we had the misfortune to be out of bread and milk so had to go groc shopping last night. I don't usually let us run out of stuff, but I just feel kind of overwhelmed lately. I am so sick of having to care about the weather every single bloody day.
Monday I worked a night shift because someone was desperate for help and actually I had been signed up for Thu night as well. Luckily I found out Wed. night that Thu night was cancelled. I don't honestly think I would have had the energy for it last night. The roads were icy coming home too, which I had not anticipated( B driving thank goodness). I had worried about visibility, and when B and I went in on the thu. a.m it was quite nasty in places, mostly from meeting vehicles. It had snowed quite a lot on Wed and was still snowing when we got up. Can't bloody win. stopped snowing and now we have ice. I suppose this is what it is like in the east and the middle states. Personally I liked it better when it was 30 below.....at least then the roads are good. We have had so much wind and this place, well, it is the flattest bloody place I have ever lived. When there is any snow at all, it just blows. There hasn't been much this year so I guess we are lucky really. I think that we have this mentality over the last few decades that we can just go about and do whatever we like and carry on our normal life, no matter what the winter does. I mean, we have not had winters like in the past, although my dad says there were a lot of mild years then too. Maybe we just remember the really bad ones. You know, we all have photos of ourselves in the early 60's standing on drifts as high as the house....or the roads being totally buried in snow, where they had to cut lanes of snow, where it was piled higher than the vehicles. You never see that now. In 1978, I was off school for a week, snowed in. I saw a house the other day with windows like the ones we had in our house, where the panes are horizontal, our windows were about 3 or 4 feet tall and divided into 4 panes, like a sandwich. That year the snow came up to the 3rd pane (eg. only the top pane was bare) in our kitchen. Our van was completely buried outside. Dad had to climb up out of the house to get out. I remember that I was in gr. 12 and my aunt and her baby were staying. The baby was sick and after the blizzard, men had to come on snowmobiles 15 miles with the medicine. I can remember Dad standing on the drifts outside my bedroom (hedges completely buried) and the men reaching down to where he was standing on top of the hedges, which were about 4 ft. tall...My camera had gotten wrecked. Don't know about mum and dad's camera, maybe out of film. But afterwards, I borrowed the schools camera and I made a few prints, black and white, of course of the snow pack when the van got dug out, etc. I suppose all those negatives are someplace. A person should really get prints made from them. Do a scrapbook.
I think perhaps, seeing as I have been given the afternoon off, that I might just play several games of scrabble with that bitchy computer partner I play with (not a real person, the computer player), who cheats. Sometimes I win, but not much lately. Sometimes it is close. Bron got it for herself at Xmas, but I really enjoy it. She says I am addicted, but no, my husband, now he is an addict. He plays games for entire days. I am lucky to get 15-20 minutes alone with this thing in a day. Been wanting to play all week, so I think I will. I used to do solitaire sometimes. I am no good at that either. I usually figure if I can't win in three tries....I usually play three games in a row, or till I win....same with the scrabble if I have time. Usually I just play three and give up.
Anyway if my eyes are not totally square by then, maybe I will do like I wanted to do before xmas and try to pick photos off the computer to get put on an archival disc and decide which ones to print. That is a project I never find time for. When I do have time, I don't have computer access. Should do laundry, but maybe I will leave it till Monday as planned.
gaack here I am, a huge long blog again! good thing nobody reads it. I must admit I feel better now. My boss called back and she is so nice about it. My previous boss would have shouted and gone ballistic and said I was doing it just to make his life miserable. Sometimes he would apologize later. I think they all realize that it is better safer than sorry. They wouldn't want to see you dead trying to get to work. But I always have this thing hanging over my head, because when I was hired I think there was a certain amount of prejudice because I am a commuter. Never mind that there were times I got into work when city folk were stuck in their streets. There was a time I got in, didn't realize the street was closed, my co-workers couldn't get in by taxi or bus, but I made it. Mind you, had a much bigger car then, just steamrollered through the drifts. I usually do miss a couple of days a year from weather, usually in the spring. I am terrified of ice. This year, I think I have missed three days. I always feel like I am letting people down. Sometimes I wish I had a nice little job where I could just call in sick and not feel guilty. B's work waits for him. Not that he often calls in sick. I keep telling myself that it is bad to drag yourself in when you are sick. Your co-workers would rather have you home...I guess the thing is, that a person has so much low-grade, in general feeling crappy but not crappy enough to not go to work....This week my body has been complaining, feet, knees, shoulders, etc. Makes you feel like you are falling apart....Feel better today, but of course, here I sit at my very uncomfortable computer chair....I should go change back into house clothes.....maybe make a cup of tea and then beat that scrabble game good and proper.... I guess today I am thankful for sunshine, which always makes me feel better, having the sense to turn around, guilt-ridden or not, I am warm and dry and safe now. It is my mother in laws birthday today and I am extremely grateful for having her in my life. I will call her later. She is one special lady and I am very grateful she is here for another birthday. She is still herself and anticipates our visit, as we do. That is a major thing to be grateful for! I really think that life is made up of these little tiny things, smiles and laughter and shiny floors and goofy cats and all sorts of little things that make you feel good. There are big things, like getting a job, or getting married or whatever, but it is the little things that sustain you. I think friends are a big thing and a little thing. I am so grateful for them too. Now I sound like one of those horrible forwards in my email. But I Really do appreciate hugs and friendship and little babies and roses. I just really hate goofy forwards about them, particularly when they insist I send them on or bad stuff will happen. Really hate those. Okay, done ranting now. Going to go turn on that kettle and change clothes...take care out there in the world, winter is a nasty place and spring is still not really quite around the corner (in spite of predictions of plus temps in the next few days which will result in lots of water with no place to go, not to mention mud and slush. I hope April gets here soon....)
Take care, love D
Okay so that is the background. Now the story. B calls at 8:15 and says, if you go, leave an hour early. So I plan to do that. Figure I have time to get back from exercises, change and hop in car and go. So when I leave for exercises, I see that the loose snow is blowing all around and it is icy underfoot, so I am rather reluctant to go to work today. But keep in mind I blew it off last week due to blowing snow and bad visibility. Okay, so while at exercises, the instructor mentions that she is leaving at noon, no appointment or anything but she MUST get some shopping done for this rally this weekend. Okay, so then the nurse, who comes from Pense, through Regina and out here, comes in and she says it is not so bad. Mind you, an older lady tells me her son just came in and told her there is cop car on it's lid out there....B had already told me about a jacknifed semi. I assumed it was the same one we saw last night, but no, actually this is a different one.
Okay, so the sun comes out, and I figure, if the nurse, who says she went 70-100k all the way says the visibility is not so bad, most of the time, that I can do this. So I go home, change clothes, and set out. Yeah it is a solid sheet of ice when I leave town, but it was worst at this point last night too. I am gliding along quite smoothly and slowly, noticing that there are NO other vehicles on the highway. The radio is telling me that there is bad highways by S'toon, and on the number one, but no where do they say anything about the one I am on. In fact, I had checked the highway hotline just before i left, and it had just been updated minutes before and sounded like it was better than this a.m., so I felt quite righteous in my decision to go. (Not to mention did NOT want to call in two weeks in a row...!) The highway improved a bit and I am going along, when I realize that the approaching vehicle is driving on the shoulder, then I realize that the whole bloody highway is a solid thick glossy piece of ice! I slowed myself right down, got onto the shoulder and made the executive decision to turn around and go home! There was a highway truck waiting at the junction to turn the other way, so I turned also and made my way carefully along the shoulder. Then got passed by a half dozen vehicles and thought to myself, you are such a wimp!!!!!So I moved back onto the road when it got better and was thinking maybe I should not have turned around, but now of course it would be too late (as storytime starts at 1:15 and I start at 1, there is no leeway there for being late)
Anyway as I got closer to town again, back onto another solid sheet of ice, I met three cop cars leaving town, a few min. apart. So I think that should tell me that they are out there rescuing people, one of which is not me. I think I made the right decision. I would have been mega stressed by the time I got there. If I got there. It just didn't seem worth 5 hrs of wages....! But I felt really guilty, as this happened last week. Last week I was okay with it, as B called in, and I sure wasn't going to go if he didn't! If he thinks it is bad, it is really bad. I didn't take Bron to her appt on Wed, because he said it was terrible. I figured we could make another appt...
I called work right away, but of course, the boss had gone out for lunch, so I told someone else what a wimp I was. Luckily I had all the stuff ready so my boss can take over, as she did last week. Last week I actually felt kinda crappy, so took it as sick. Today will have to be a holiday day. Except I don't feel much like a holiday. The house is a mess but I don't feel inclined to do much about it. Maybe plan a nice supper....for a change. Bron told her sister that "fend for yourself day"(which has always been tuesday night) has turned into fend for yourself week, which turned into fend for yourself month. I was a bit insulted as I usually have something in the crock pot on wednesdays and am usually home to make supper on mondays.Thursdays can be bad, as I work all day. She works a couple days over suppertime also, so has to feed herself before she goes to work. I do admit that I seldom cook and that friday is always pizza or other frozen thing night. Last night we didn't get back till past 8 as I now work till 6 (although I think that might change in April) and we had the misfortune to be out of bread and milk so had to go groc shopping last night. I don't usually let us run out of stuff, but I just feel kind of overwhelmed lately. I am so sick of having to care about the weather every single bloody day.
Monday I worked a night shift because someone was desperate for help and actually I had been signed up for Thu night as well. Luckily I found out Wed. night that Thu night was cancelled. I don't honestly think I would have had the energy for it last night. The roads were icy coming home too, which I had not anticipated( B driving thank goodness). I had worried about visibility, and when B and I went in on the thu. a.m it was quite nasty in places, mostly from meeting vehicles. It had snowed quite a lot on Wed and was still snowing when we got up. Can't bloody win. stopped snowing and now we have ice. I suppose this is what it is like in the east and the middle states. Personally I liked it better when it was 30 below.....at least then the roads are good. We have had so much wind and this place, well, it is the flattest bloody place I have ever lived. When there is any snow at all, it just blows. There hasn't been much this year so I guess we are lucky really. I think that we have this mentality over the last few decades that we can just go about and do whatever we like and carry on our normal life, no matter what the winter does. I mean, we have not had winters like in the past, although my dad says there were a lot of mild years then too. Maybe we just remember the really bad ones. You know, we all have photos of ourselves in the early 60's standing on drifts as high as the house....or the roads being totally buried in snow, where they had to cut lanes of snow, where it was piled higher than the vehicles. You never see that now. In 1978, I was off school for a week, snowed in. I saw a house the other day with windows like the ones we had in our house, where the panes are horizontal, our windows were about 3 or 4 feet tall and divided into 4 panes, like a sandwich. That year the snow came up to the 3rd pane (eg. only the top pane was bare) in our kitchen. Our van was completely buried outside. Dad had to climb up out of the house to get out. I remember that I was in gr. 12 and my aunt and her baby were staying. The baby was sick and after the blizzard, men had to come on snowmobiles 15 miles with the medicine. I can remember Dad standing on the drifts outside my bedroom (hedges completely buried) and the men reaching down to where he was standing on top of the hedges, which were about 4 ft. tall...My camera had gotten wrecked. Don't know about mum and dad's camera, maybe out of film. But afterwards, I borrowed the schools camera and I made a few prints, black and white, of course of the snow pack when the van got dug out, etc. I suppose all those negatives are someplace. A person should really get prints made from them. Do a scrapbook.
I think perhaps, seeing as I have been given the afternoon off, that I might just play several games of scrabble with that bitchy computer partner I play with (not a real person, the computer player), who cheats. Sometimes I win, but not much lately. Sometimes it is close. Bron got it for herself at Xmas, but I really enjoy it. She says I am addicted, but no, my husband, now he is an addict. He plays games for entire days. I am lucky to get 15-20 minutes alone with this thing in a day. Been wanting to play all week, so I think I will. I used to do solitaire sometimes. I am no good at that either. I usually figure if I can't win in three tries....I usually play three games in a row, or till I win....same with the scrabble if I have time. Usually I just play three and give up.
Anyway if my eyes are not totally square by then, maybe I will do like I wanted to do before xmas and try to pick photos off the computer to get put on an archival disc and decide which ones to print. That is a project I never find time for. When I do have time, I don't have computer access. Should do laundry, but maybe I will leave it till Monday as planned.
gaack here I am, a huge long blog again! good thing nobody reads it. I must admit I feel better now. My boss called back and she is so nice about it. My previous boss would have shouted and gone ballistic and said I was doing it just to make his life miserable. Sometimes he would apologize later. I think they all realize that it is better safer than sorry. They wouldn't want to see you dead trying to get to work. But I always have this thing hanging over my head, because when I was hired I think there was a certain amount of prejudice because I am a commuter. Never mind that there were times I got into work when city folk were stuck in their streets. There was a time I got in, didn't realize the street was closed, my co-workers couldn't get in by taxi or bus, but I made it. Mind you, had a much bigger car then, just steamrollered through the drifts. I usually do miss a couple of days a year from weather, usually in the spring. I am terrified of ice. This year, I think I have missed three days. I always feel like I am letting people down. Sometimes I wish I had a nice little job where I could just call in sick and not feel guilty. B's work waits for him. Not that he often calls in sick. I keep telling myself that it is bad to drag yourself in when you are sick. Your co-workers would rather have you home...I guess the thing is, that a person has so much low-grade, in general feeling crappy but not crappy enough to not go to work....This week my body has been complaining, feet, knees, shoulders, etc. Makes you feel like you are falling apart....Feel better today, but of course, here I sit at my very uncomfortable computer chair....I should go change back into house clothes.....maybe make a cup of tea and then beat that scrabble game good and proper.... I guess today I am thankful for sunshine, which always makes me feel better, having the sense to turn around, guilt-ridden or not, I am warm and dry and safe now. It is my mother in laws birthday today and I am extremely grateful for having her in my life. I will call her later. She is one special lady and I am very grateful she is here for another birthday. She is still herself and anticipates our visit, as we do. That is a major thing to be grateful for! I really think that life is made up of these little tiny things, smiles and laughter and shiny floors and goofy cats and all sorts of little things that make you feel good. There are big things, like getting a job, or getting married or whatever, but it is the little things that sustain you. I think friends are a big thing and a little thing. I am so grateful for them too. Now I sound like one of those horrible forwards in my email. But I Really do appreciate hugs and friendship and little babies and roses. I just really hate goofy forwards about them, particularly when they insist I send them on or bad stuff will happen. Really hate those. Okay, done ranting now. Going to go turn on that kettle and change clothes...take care out there in the world, winter is a nasty place and spring is still not really quite around the corner (in spite of predictions of plus temps in the next few days which will result in lots of water with no place to go, not to mention mud and slush. I hope April gets here soon....)
Take care, love D
posted by Diana @ 11:24 AM
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