rain rain rain
HI, here I am again. In an effort to remain positive thinking, I have to tell you that, althought it has been raining for two days, I am still rather cheerful. I was running all day, driving, getting wet, but enjoyed it. Knocked a mustard dish out of the fridge while I was in a hurry to make lunch and run to work, but instead of getting upset, I can see the good part of it , which is this: I know that mustard stains, so lucky me, I had taken off my shoes (normally I would kept them on , but it was raining) and they would have been wrecked, instead it just got the top of my sock, which is cleanable. It didn't get on my James Taylor shirt, yippee! I quickly wiped the floor and then it was over. It is all in the mood you are in. Today I am running on adrenaline, ran Bron to an appt this a.m., got us home with just enough time to get me lunch and back on the road, went to some boring training, but managed to do a bunch of work-related errands before and after and also managed to get to work on time for my shift. The only truly bad thing that happened today is I found out that another girl from this years grad class has died. Another friend of David's. We knew she was slowly dying of cancer, so it is less of a shock, but still awful. Two young girls, in the best time of their lives, full of promise, and potential. Both friends of my son, both known to my daughter. When you live in a small community these things are powerful in their effect on the community. In a couple of weeks we will have graduation, a celebration for a group of young people who are on the edge of adulthood, waiting to go out into the world, except two of them will not. It will be a difficult time. My heart goes out to all those friends, and classmates as well as to the families. I can only imagine how completely devastated I would be in their place. No parent should have to lose a child. I know it happens every day, but it doesn't make it any more fair. I know that death is a part of life and part of the human condition. No one can lead a charmed life, free from pain of loss. I still live in dread of the day when the phone rings and something has happened to one of my friends. I can only imagine how awful if I was 18 or 19.
Back to the things I am grateful for:
-family that is still on this planet.
-friends to talk to and confide in and celebrate life with.
-the ability to see and think and feel.
-the pleasure I take from young children at work. We have a fair amount of "warm fuzzy" moments derived from other people's children just being their cute innocent selves. Maybe that is why I feel no immediate need for grandchildren, I get to enjoy other people's children at work. It can be very gratifying, what I do. I tend to obsess sometimes about the lack of feedback, thanks, or knowledge that we get back from the people who are impacted by our work. Mostly we never know. WE all like to think we make a difference in the world. YOu know the famous old line about if you touch the life of one child, make a difference in the life of one child. The other day, I read that it is not enough, but I disagree. If the life of one child is changed from what I do, who knows what that child may become one day, who knows what they might teach their children. Maybe we are only cogs in a giant wheel and maybe it is not ours to know the reason why we are here, or the results of our lifetimes of hard work. But I like to think that I will have made a difference in some lives, no matter how small.
Then you start to think about other kinds of work, say the service industry. If we are all meant to do meaningful work, and you think, okay what about the cashiers that served me today? Was it important in the grand scheme of things? Well of course, because if not for them, a portion of my work would not have been accomplished, so indirectly they affect what I do.
A friend once remarked that her job as a money lender was not important enough. She felt she should be doing some kind of good works, make a difference in the world, but I felt she did good work, necessary work. Who knows who she helped by her service in the banking industry? It is just not so obvious. Everyone knows what good missionaries and aid workers do. But we don't know what good everyone else does.
This years summer theme is Quest for Heroes, and it encompasses community heroes as well as the usual, historical or superheroes and the like. I decided to have a contest, which I hope people enter, where they nominate their hero. I hope we get some Moms nominated, or teachers or kindly neighbours or german shepherds or ??? SAdly, I expect most people will think there are no heroes in their lives, but there are probably always some. You just have to look a bit harder for the ones that are not so obvious. Real heroes don't blow their own horns.
I wonder who my hero is? I guess it was always my mum. Her voice in my head is my conscience, and my guide. I suppose we all admire our mums, but mine was one special and talented lady, who just never got long enough to shine. It is my dad's birthday today, but this morning it was my mother I was thinking of. She was always trying to help whomever she could.
My dad is a nice guy too. I wish I knew him better. I wish Mum could have lived longer. I wish I made better use of the time I had with her and I wish I could make better use of the time left with him. There is so much I wish I could ask him, but I never remember when I see him. When we talk we talk about all and sundry, and I don't deny it is fun and interesting. I just don't want to lose all that family knowledge; I wish I could know who he really is. We always look at our parents under that heading "parent" and we don't really get to know who they are as people. I have done a lot of thinking, and sometimes I think I know a bit about my mother as a woman or a person, besides the person who was my Mum.
I found out this spring, when David's friend died, that my dad lost a friend when he was ten. I never knew this before. How many other things do I not know? How many things should I know? I think it is valuable to have siblings, so there is someone else who knows what life was like when you were young. I hope my children will share their knowledge when we are gone. I hope they will be able to remember things that give them joy. There is so much I don't know because I was too young to know. I think a lot of things that I think I know about my family life might not be accurate. I do realize that everyone has a different perception of the same incidents, hence family arguments at holiday times. But I have a lot of questions about the past and not so many people to give me answers.
So here is my thought for the day: none of us know how long we have on this earth, so talk to your families. Tell people you love them. be alive and in the moment.
Peace to you all out there in the blogosphere.
D.
Back to the things I am grateful for:
-family that is still on this planet.
-friends to talk to and confide in and celebrate life with.
-the ability to see and think and feel.
-the pleasure I take from young children at work. We have a fair amount of "warm fuzzy" moments derived from other people's children just being their cute innocent selves. Maybe that is why I feel no immediate need for grandchildren, I get to enjoy other people's children at work. It can be very gratifying, what I do. I tend to obsess sometimes about the lack of feedback, thanks, or knowledge that we get back from the people who are impacted by our work. Mostly we never know. WE all like to think we make a difference in the world. YOu know the famous old line about if you touch the life of one child, make a difference in the life of one child. The other day, I read that it is not enough, but I disagree. If the life of one child is changed from what I do, who knows what that child may become one day, who knows what they might teach their children. Maybe we are only cogs in a giant wheel and maybe it is not ours to know the reason why we are here, or the results of our lifetimes of hard work. But I like to think that I will have made a difference in some lives, no matter how small.
Then you start to think about other kinds of work, say the service industry. If we are all meant to do meaningful work, and you think, okay what about the cashiers that served me today? Was it important in the grand scheme of things? Well of course, because if not for them, a portion of my work would not have been accomplished, so indirectly they affect what I do.
A friend once remarked that her job as a money lender was not important enough. She felt she should be doing some kind of good works, make a difference in the world, but I felt she did good work, necessary work. Who knows who she helped by her service in the banking industry? It is just not so obvious. Everyone knows what good missionaries and aid workers do. But we don't know what good everyone else does.
This years summer theme is Quest for Heroes, and it encompasses community heroes as well as the usual, historical or superheroes and the like. I decided to have a contest, which I hope people enter, where they nominate their hero. I hope we get some Moms nominated, or teachers or kindly neighbours or german shepherds or ??? SAdly, I expect most people will think there are no heroes in their lives, but there are probably always some. You just have to look a bit harder for the ones that are not so obvious. Real heroes don't blow their own horns.
I wonder who my hero is? I guess it was always my mum. Her voice in my head is my conscience, and my guide. I suppose we all admire our mums, but mine was one special and talented lady, who just never got long enough to shine. It is my dad's birthday today, but this morning it was my mother I was thinking of. She was always trying to help whomever she could.
My dad is a nice guy too. I wish I knew him better. I wish Mum could have lived longer. I wish I made better use of the time I had with her and I wish I could make better use of the time left with him. There is so much I wish I could ask him, but I never remember when I see him. When we talk we talk about all and sundry, and I don't deny it is fun and interesting. I just don't want to lose all that family knowledge; I wish I could know who he really is. We always look at our parents under that heading "parent" and we don't really get to know who they are as people. I have done a lot of thinking, and sometimes I think I know a bit about my mother as a woman or a person, besides the person who was my Mum.
I found out this spring, when David's friend died, that my dad lost a friend when he was ten. I never knew this before. How many other things do I not know? How many things should I know? I think it is valuable to have siblings, so there is someone else who knows what life was like when you were young. I hope my children will share their knowledge when we are gone. I hope they will be able to remember things that give them joy. There is so much I don't know because I was too young to know. I think a lot of things that I think I know about my family life might not be accurate. I do realize that everyone has a different perception of the same incidents, hence family arguments at holiday times. But I have a lot of questions about the past and not so many people to give me answers.
So here is my thought for the day: none of us know how long we have on this earth, so talk to your families. Tell people you love them. be alive and in the moment.
Peace to you all out there in the blogosphere.
D.
posted by Diana @ 9:20 PM
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